How to Be More Productive
In our fast-paced, grind-set mentality world of constant stimulation and work and side hustles, “productivity” seems like what everyone is striving for. But what does it really mean to be productive? How do we become more productive people?
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I will share with you my thoughts on “productivity” and how we can be more productive in a holistic way that serves our well-being and mental health.
We all have to work to live. The time we spend at work is often inherently productive. But what are we doing during our off hours? Do we feel good about how we’re spending our time? Many of us are so exhausted from work days or work weeks, that much of our free time is spent numbing out watching streaming services or scrolling social media on our phones. My question is: “What are you doing, and how does it make you feel?”
I believe that if we are getting the necessities done, time spent “numbing out” isn’t inherently a bad thing. Our brains need a break from focused attention on tasks. We need a break to consume light-hearted media or read a few pages of a book or hang out with friends or family. These activities aren’t a waste of time. They are giving our brains the break they need in order to be fully rested and restored to take care of the necessary demands of life.
But what about a day when we do absolutely nothing? Do you ever find yourself sleeping in super late, or binge-watching a favorite show for hours on end? How do you feel about yourself afterward? Is there any guilt? Any shame? Any reprimanding ourselves for not using our time “productively”?
As a mental health professional, I’m here to tell you that if your life circumstances allow it, having a day of doing absolutely nothing is not wrong or bad. In fact, I personally coined the term “bed days” with my best friend while I was in graduate school. I was so exhausted from all the productive and intensive work of my graduate school program, that some days I would just sleep in super late and lay in bed all day watching Netflix on my phone. And let me tell you - there was zero guilt or shame. My shameless bed days saved me. They gave my body and mind a break from intensive and focused work, and allowed me to recover enough to get back to real life on Monday morning. I didn’t have the “Sunday scaries”. I had beautiful Sunday bed days.
Even now, I often talk to my clients about how “doing” is not the only way to be productive. Rest is also productive. Rest that makes us feel restored and refreshed is a radical act of self-care and self-love that allows us to show up as our best selves in the world moving forward. So the next time you’re trying to chill on the couch and relax, but your mind is telling you all the things you “should” be doing - tell your mind to chill and that you’ll get to it later. That is a problem for your future self. Right now, your goal is to rest, restore, and relax.
I don’t believe we should “should all over ourselves”. Rather than focusing on “should”, let’s ask ourselves - “What actually needs to get done?” and let’s do it. Then we can ask ourselves, “What do I want to do?”. In assessing our wants, I do not believe we should be overly self-indulgent. Rather, we should be real with ourselves and ask what our bodies, minds, and spirits need in order to feel well. If we are tired, we should rest. Maybe that’s a nap, maybe that’s watching something pleasurable, maybe that’s sitting outside or enjoying a walk, maybe that’s spending time cuddling and playing with our pets. All of that is restorative, and that is inherently productive.
Don’t get me wrong - I believe in getting shit done. The sense of accomplishment that comes with setting the intention to do a task and actually completing it is amazing and such a dopamine hit! “Doing” is great! It is just that human beings are not evolutionarily wired to “do” all of the time. Our ancestors rested, had time with the community, danced and sang, and enjoyed time outdoors in nature. They balanced working in a way that was necessary for survival with moments of community, rest, and joy. Our brains have not changed since thousands of years ago. We are not wired to constantly grind it out. We need to do our necessary work and feel good about it, and give ourselves the time and space to rest and restore and recover, knowing that that is equally valuable.
Maybe not everyone needs a full bed day, but I know I just had one yesterday and it was amazing! Work hard, rest hard. And try to minimize the guilt. Because you deserve it.
If you want to talk more about how to incorporate more restful and restorative moments into your life or reevaluate your relationship with productivity, don’t hesitate to schedule and appointment with me today! I’d love to talk to you about your work-life balance and we can come up with a plan on how to infuse more restorative time into your life!
